All-Star Weekend in a Beautiful Place

I'm going to go broke on NBA All-Star Weekend.

What is the most romantic place in the world?

Beautiful lights adorning the area encircled by picturesque views. Fancy meals and the world’s greatest entertainment. An environment that makes your heart flutter, a concoction of hope and anxiousness course through your body. At the green velvet table. The flop. The turn. The river.

You guessed it: Las Vegas.

On Valentine’s Day, I have trekked to Sin City, where I will make a number of impetuous decisions at both the casino and the sportsbook. And what better time to lay some money down on total crapshoots than NBA All-Star weekend?

There is no history to dictate your bets. Not that history helps much anyway, though. My gut on who I will bet on could change at a moment’s notice and there would be no legitimate rationale to explain my decision.

I will attempt to explain myself, no matter how inane or unsound my reasoning is. Here are my predictions for how I think the 3-point contest, Skills Challenge, Dunk Contest, and All-Star Game will go:

Skills challenge

Participants:

• Bam Adebayo, Miami

• Patrick Beverley, LA

• Spencer Dinwiddie, Brooklyn

• Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Oklahoma City

• Khris Middleton, Milwaukee

• Domantas Sabonis, Indiana

• Pascal Siakam, Toronto

• Jayson Tatum, Boston

I’m betting on: Bam Adebayo

Runner Up: Shai Gilgeous-Alexander

Why?: Because I’m dumb? Probably. I read Zach Lowe’s Thursday feature on Bam being “the greatest player you don’t know about” and now I’m the president and CEO of the Bam Adebayo fan club. Everyone, understandably, counts out the big men in the Skills Challenge. This is a selection I am making confidently and without sympathy for the front court. I think Bam might just be talented enough to top all of these guys. I mean, Domantas Sabonis galumphing his way around the court? Patrick Beverly flopping from the NBA logo posts you have to dribble around? Khris Middleton letting Giannis do all the work instead (kidding Middleton is incredible)? The only other participant I would consider is Gilgeous-Alexander. He’s got silky smooth handles and deserves to shine on a stage against the league’s other stars 1-for-1.

3-point contest

Participants:

• Davis Bertans, Washington

• Devin Booker, Phoenix

• Devonte' Graham, Charlotte

• Joe Harris, Brooklyn

• Buddy Hield, Sacramento

• Zach LaVine, Chicago

• Duncan Robinson, Miami

• Trae Young, Atlanta

I’m betting on: Duncan Robinson

Runner Up: Devin Booker

Why?: Because I covered him at Michigan and I need all the clout I can get. And because he is a historically good 3-point shooter. He’s not Steph or Klay but it truly isn’t ridiculous to say he could hit that level beyond the arc. I don’t know much, but this is a total toss-up and primed to be one of the most talented 3-point shooting contests ever. I could see Booker winning as the guy who only got a last-second invite and no one really wants to see. Fans would love to watch him but, you know, who invited you so late D Book?

Dunk contest

Partcipants:

• Pat Connaughton, Milwaukee

• Aaron Gordon, Orlando

• Dwight Howard, Los Angeles

• Derrick Jones Jr., Miami

I’m betting on: Pat Connaughton

Runner Up: Aaron Gordon

Why?: I saw Connaughton tweet at Christian Yelich to join him in Chicago because he “has a great idea” and I am already pumped for it. I legitimately can’t think of one way to include a baseball player that will make this dunk unique or cool so maybe my standards are off. Also, he’ll win because the NBA is behind a conspiracy that Gordon is the greatest dunk contest participant ever and years from now people will be saying “how come he never won one?” It’s all your fault, Adam Silver. Howard will try to be cutesy and bring out the Superman logo or something and we’ll all be frustrated because we just want New Dwight. Jones will just jump really high and not do anything eye-opening.

All-Star Game

Team LeBron

Starters: LeBron James, Anthony Davis, Kawhi Leonard, Luka Doncic, James Harden Reserves: Damian Lillard (injured, will not play), Ben Simmons, Nikola Jokic, Jayson Tatum, Chris Paul, Russell Westbrook, Domantas Sabonis, Devin Booker

Team Giannis

Starters: Giannis Antetokounmpo, Joel Embiid, Pascal Siakam, Kemba Walker, Trae Young Reserves: Khris Middleton, Bam Adebayo, Rudy Gobert, Kyle Lowry, Brandon Ingram, Donovan Mitchell

I’m betting on: Team Giannis

Why?: Because Team LeBron is objectively better which means I have to fade my own brain. The supposedly worse team also won last season, too. The All-Star game is typically a back-and-forth shot fest, but Team Giannis also has guys like Rudy Gobert who are All-Stars because of their defense and I’ll be damned if he doesn’t show it off. Trae Young will hit stupid long treys and Giannis will Giannis. Yes, Team LeBron is better. But I believe in the fight of a team with five first-time All-Stars.

Bonus: Celebrity Game

Team Wilbon (Home) Captain: Common (rapper, recording artist) Bad Bunny (recording artist) Hannibal Buress (actor, comedian) Kane Brown (4x AMA award winning artist) Jon Batiste (musician, bandleader of "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert") Alex Moffat (actor and comedian, "Saturday Night Live") Chef José Andrés (Chef & Humanitarian) Famous Los (comedian, social media influencer) Jidenna (recording artist) Chelsea Gray (WNBA) Quentin Richardson (NBA Legend)

Team Stephen A. (Away) Captain: Chance The Rapper (rapper, recording artist) Quavo (rapper, recording artist) Taylor Bennett (rapper, recording artist) LaRoyce Hawkins (actor, “Chicago PD”) Anthony “Spice” Adams (AKA Cream E. Biggums, actor, comedian, former NFL defensive tackle) Marc Lasry (co-owner, Milwaukee Bucks) Ronnie 2K (marketing director at 2K Sports) Katelyn Ohashi (gymnast)

Lil Rel Howery (actor, comedian) A’ja Wilson (WNBA) Darius Miles (NBA Legend)

I’m betting on: Team Stephen A. Never bet against Stephen A. Smith, that’s the first commandment I am pretty certain. I couldn’t possibly doubt the brotherly magic of Chance and Taylor Bennett. Quavo? Katelyn Ohashi? They will blow the doors off Team Wilbon and all will be right.